Worse Things Than Death
by ATightropeToTheWords
Summary: Zia is gone. Carter's leg is injured beyond repair. And yet he must rise above his heartbreak and be strong for the world. He must defeat Apophis if he wants to live. But there are worse things than death. Like living a life without the one you love.


**A/N: HELLO. This is a random oneshot based on my story, The Hidden Chronicles. Hope you enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Me no own TKC.**

**WARNING: EXTREMELY ANGSTY. Also, there are a few gory details about the battle, but nothing a pre-teen wouldn't be able to read, unless you were very sensitive.  
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**/*\*/*\  
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_"Damn it, Carter!" Zia shouted, glaring at her boyfriend of three years. He glared back, his eyes hard. In the back of her mind, she winced. It caused her almost physical pain to see him look at her like that. Even more pain than she was already in..._

_"What did I do?" Carter demanded angrily. "You're the one who randomly started crying and yelling at me! Tell me what the Hell I did wrong."_

_She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around her torso, hugging herself._

_"I..." she scrambled to find the words to explain her actions. She felt like such an awful person. But she hadn't been able to control herself. Her emotions had taken over her: the dread, the sense of wrong-doing... The fear._

_"What?" He demanded sharply. Zia winced for real this time, not just in her mind._

_"I... I'm sorry, Carter," she whispered. His face softened, his eyes losing their steel._

_"Zia-" he began, (tenderness clearly replacing anger) but quickly was cut off as Zia walked towards him and pressed her lips to his, gently._

_She pulled back after a second. "I'm so sorry, Carter," she repeated. Before he could stop her, she turned and rushed out of the tent, one hand over her mouth and the other over her stomach._

/*\*/*\

It wasn't often that Carter Kane woke up with the knowledge that:

1. He had had a fight with his girlfriend the night before and was probably going to have to do damage control [although he didn't mind this too much, because damage control usually involved kissing...]

And

2. Today was the day that the magicians finally fought the forces of Chaos [and a giant Serpent hell-bent on swallowing the sun] in order to save the world.

All-in-all, Carter wasn't very eager to admit to himself that he was awake, and that he should sit up and get himself outside, with the other magicians, and make sure that everything was alright with the preparations, make sure everybody was ready both mentally and physically, and possibly eat some breakfast.

Really, only the breakfast part sounded good to him.

However, Carter still somehow manage to force himself into a sitting position. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with his fists.

He scrambled out of the little sleeping bag on the ground that had been his bed (because the folks at the 1st Nome apparently didn't have anything else to offer the magicians who were out in the desert, waiting for morning to come and for the battle to begin) and ran a hand through his bedraggled hair to straighten it as best as he could. He had slept in his magician robes, which made for un-surprisingly comfortable pajamas.

Carter took a deep breath, steeling his nerves. He wished that he could stay inside this tent, sleep through the entire battle, and wake up to everything being okay.

But he couldn't.

So he pushed out of the tent, not bothering to close it behind him.

The first thing he was aware of was the feel of the hot sand on his ankles as his feet moved off of the fabric floor of his tent. It burned his skin as the wind whipped it around, making grains slip into his shoes and rub up against him painfully. Sand was everywhere, almost as omnipresent as the air itself. Everywhere he looked, he saw slopes and hills of the stuff. It was almost suffocating.

The second thing he was aware of was the sun, blazing down on his face and glaring off of the aforementioned sand like it was a slab of polished gold. Carter's hand automatically sprang up to guard his eyes from the harsh rays. He wondered if this was Ra's way of cheering them on. If so, he thought that he might have preferred something like a magical blessing that would make the magicians invincible, or something along those lines.

But no, Ra gave them the need to wear sunglasses while fighting off Chaos demons.

Wonderful.

Carter trudged towards the tent that had been designated as the "Headquarters" of the makeshift camp that was basically just a dozen or so tents clumps together in a circle with the Headquarters in the middle. He ducked inside.

"Good morning, Carter," Jaz greeted him, not even looking up from her iPod screen. Carter looked closely at her. Under her bloodshot eyes were dark purple bags. Her blond hair was slipping out of it's ponytail and falling all around her face, which was much paler than usual. Her hands trembled. Carter felt the urge to walk over and somehow comfort her, to tell her that everything would be alright.

But he would have felt like a dirty liar.

Besides, Walt already appeared to have comforting her under control. He sat on the floor beside her with his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Sadie, who sat on the small table they had set up in the middle of the tent, didn't appear too delighted about their position, but she didn't question it.

Carter walked over to Sadie and sat down beside her. Upon closer inspection, she didn't look much better than Jaz. She gazed intently down at the wood grains of the table, as if they held the answers to everything if she could only decode them. Her hands were clenched into fists so tight that her knuckles had turned white. Carter reached over and gently uncurled her fingers. On the palm of her hand were four crescent-moon marks where her nails had dug into the skin. A thin ribbon of crimson blood trickled down her hand but she didn't seem to care. Her eyes hadn't moved from the wood.

"Sadie?" Carter murmured. The 16-year-old girl finally looked up at him. He gave her an understanding half-smile. He knew that this was a nightmare for her. For years they had been preparing for this, and now that the day had come... "Sadie, it's going to be okay. I promise you, none of us will..." his throat constricted. He couldn't say the word.

Sadie gave a little jerk of her head, biting her lip. "No, no, Carter, you don't understand," she said shakily. "It's not that..."

"Then what is it?" Carter asked.

"It's...well, Carter, it's..." Sadie looked to Jaz and Walt beseechingly, as if she couldn't bear to tell him whatever was on her mind, and she was asking them to tell him for her.

Jaz looked up from her iPod and said un-characteristically bluntly, "Zia is missing."

/*\*/*\

"What do you mean, she's missing?" Carter demanded, staring at Jaz in open-mouthed shock. She winced.

"The last anybody saw Zia, she was running away from your tent," Jaz explained.

"Running away from my tent," Carter repeated, dazed.

Jaz nodded. "And she wasn't in any of the tents today...we went looking for her, but she wasn't...she's gone, Carter. She left."

"No." Carter shook his head violently, refusing to believe it, refusing to believe that Zia would abandon them in their time of greatest need just because of a fight. "No, you're wrong. You must be wrong."

"Carter," Walt said. "She's gone."

"No!" Carter yelled, clenching his fists at his sides, his face hard. "You're wrong. _Wrong_. You hear me? Zia loves me, she loves us! She wouldn't just freaking leave us." He slammed his fist down on the table to make a point.

"Carter," Walt snapped, standing up. "Come on, man. Zia left us. We have more important things to worry about than this. The battle will start really freaking soon, so get yourself together and be the damn leader we need."

/*\*/*\

Carter surveyed the battlefield skeptically. Whenever he had pictured a battlefield, he imagined a stretch of rough terrain littered with cannons and with two opposing armies on either side of it, guns at the ready. He had never imagined a battlefield as being the desert of Egypt, with nothing to mar it's sameness other than the crowd of 237 magicians crowded together in what could barely be called an army.

"Where are they?" Sadie hissed, as if wondering where a few friends were who were supposed to show up for a lunch date, rather than the ranks of Chaos demons they were expecting.

Oh, and the giant snake. Couldn't forget the giant snake.

"How am I supposed to know?" Carter barked. To say he was in a bad mood would be a gross understatement. Then again, who would be in a good mood after just finding out that your girlfriend had left you and your friends, and family, and all the other magicians who had agreed to help you, to fight an army of demons and possibly die in the process?

It didn't exactly warm the heart.

"Are you admitting to not knowing something, for once?" Sadie said. Carter knew she was teasing, trying to make him feel even a tiny bit better, but it didn't work. He just gave her a forced half-grin. He was glad that she was being strong, but he himself didn't feel his bravest.

Carter turned around and eyed the gathered magicians. Over the course of the past few days, more and more had been showing up from nomes all across the globe. Now, there were a good number of them.

Carter had spent the last hour working on the strategy of placing them. He had the fire elementalists at the front, in hopes that they could burn up the front ranks of demons as they came (with a pang, Carter remembered that this was Zia's idea and he recalled having a fight with her because that would mean Zia would be on the front lines). Next were the combat magicians, with a few winds and water elementalists to aid in the attack. Finally, as a last resort, the earth elementalists would work together to create an earthquake and hopefully throw off the demons so that the magicians could retreat and regroup.

The younger healers (and some of the very old ones) waited by the tents so that they could nurse any magicians who were carried back by fellow magicians. The other healers, ones who were a bit more mature, but still young enough that they could fight if they needed to, were in between the combat magicians and wind and water elementalists, where they would heal any magicians who were wounded and couldn't get back to the tents.

All-in-all, Carter felt rather pleased with how it all had come together. He, Sadie, Zia, and Amos had spent days devising it.

Carter winced. He couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal. And yet...he also couldn't shake the sense that something wasn't right here. The Zia Rashid that Carter knew wasn't one to run away when she was needed most. She was too brave and reasonable for that.

'_If she's so brave and reasonable_,' a bitter voice in his head said, '_then how come she's not standing beside you right now_?'

And then Carter felt a slight rumbling in the ground, almost like an earthquake. But he knew it wasn't. He looked around and locked eyes with Sadie.

"They're coming?" She said it like it was a question.

"Yes." Carter looked out into the desert. He could almost see the demons approaching, stampeding towards them like a herd of wild cattle. Wild cattle that could quite possibly kill them all. "They're coming."

/*\*/*\

Carter had heard once that in the heat of battle, your senses go into overdrive, and the adrenaline is enough to keep you alive as you fight. That there's no time for your life to flash before you eyes; you're too busy reveling in the rush of energy and strength, the feeling that for once, you're unstoppable.

Carter would never, even a little bit, doubt the words of a war veteran ever again.

The battle started before Carter even realized it. The demons had raced into view with horrific, twisted smiles on their vile faces, cackling and shrieking in voices that were like nails dragging along on chalkboard. The sight of them made Carter's blood run cold and his feet stick to the ground as if he were standing in dried cement.

Luckily, the fire elementalists behaved with great presence of mind, blasting the demons with balls of fire. The demons screeched and hacked blindly with their knives and scratched with their jagged nails at whatever they could reach. The fire elementalists continued in this vein until they exhausted themselves, and it was all they could do to duck backwards and make their way towards the tents as the combat magicians started rushing forward.

Carter took a deep breath, drew his _khopesh_, and charged, a battle cry that even he didn't comprehend ripping from his lips.

The first demon he encountered got hacked in half. Carter felt bile rise in his mouth as he gazed down at the creature's mangled body, but he forced himself to keep moving. He sliced a demon with the head of a hammerhead shark on the chest and then stomped on it, breaking its neck.

Carter tried to spot a familiar face among the carnage (Sadie, Jaz, Walt, Sean, _anybody_) but the smoky haze from the fire was too thick. He was vaguely aware of various stinging sensations all over his body, though whether they were cuts or burns from the fire, he didn't know.

Carter paused to take a breath, his chest heaving. He noticed with horror that not all of the blood that stained the sand was black demon's blood.

"Carter!" he heard a familiar voice scream. He looked up, squinting.

/*\*/*\

Another thing Carter had once heard was that sometimes in battle, there are moments when everything slows down and the bodies around you become a blur. The only thing you are aware of is burning pain that starts in one place, and quickly makes its way all over your body until you're numb with pain and all you can do is release your anguish in a scream.

Those are the moments when you have been wounded.

Carter felt his face contort in pain and his mouth opened wide for that bloodcurdling scream he felt building in his chest, but the only thing he could manage was a weak shout that he couldn't understand, much like his earlier war cry.

"Carter!" That voice was shrieking again, this time much closer to him.

Carter dropped down on his knees. Tears were building in his eyes and streaming down his face. He felt a strange wetness on the back of his leg. It was sticky, like syrup.

"Carter!" the voice said a third time, and this time it was right in his ear. Carter felt an arm go around his shoulders and drag him up. "Come on, Carter, please." He felt hot breath on his ear, felt tears from the other person dripping onto his hair. "Carter, it's me. It's Sadie."

"Sadie..." Carter whispered, leaning his head against the girl's chest.

"Yes, Carter, it's me, it's Sadie." Her voice shook as she stroked his hair, hugging him. "I'm going to get you out of here, Carter. I'm going to get you fixed up."

Carter wished he could respond, tell her what was wrong with him, and tell her not to worry about him, because he would be fine, but he couldn't form the words. All he could do was listen as she continued struggling to comfort him while the battle raged around them.

"I-I'm going to get you out of here, and then we're going to go back to Brooklyn House. W-we're going to sit together on the couch and look through Mom's old textbook, and I'll tease you, but you won't care because you're an amazing brother and I-I'm so, so sorry about all the times I've been so awful to you." Sadie was full out sobbing now, her tears soaking his hair.

There was a howl close-by, and then a demon launched itself at Sadie and Carter, lashing out with a jagged piece of glass that scratched Sadie's arm. The demon's mouth spread wide in a large grin, and Carter could see that its teeth were sharp and pointed like fangs.

"Kanes," it spat. "I wonders what sort of prize I get for killing Kanes."

"Get away from us," Sadie growled, stepping in front of Carter in a way that could only be described as protectively.

"I rip you, I tear you, I crush your bones," the demon sang with delight. It raised it's piece of glass...

"I said get away from us!" Sadie roared. "_Ha-di_!"

The demon had barely enough time to give a little cry before it exploded, it's blood spraying the sand, but Sadie didn't seem to notice. She had turned back to her brother.

"Sadie," Carter whispered. "My leg, Sadie..."

"I know," she replied softly. "Y-your leg is hurt, Carter."

"Jaz," he grunted. "Get...Jaz..."

"Right," Sadie said. "R-right. JAZ! Jaz, Carter's hurt!" Her voice was drowned out by the clanging of swords and battle, but Jaz must have been already close by, because a minute later she appeared. Her face was scratched all over and streaked with grime. Her lip was bleeding badly. She studied Carter, and he could tell she was forcing her face to stay calm and expressionless.

"Help me get him back to the tents," Jaz commanded Sadie.

"Will he...?" Sadie trailed off, swallowing.

"I don't know," Jaz replied grimly.

It was around that time that Carter passed out, the world fading to black.

/*\*/*\

Carter wasn't sure what time he woke up, but when he did he was so disoriented that he thought there were three Jaz's hovering over him anxiously, their noses scrunched up like Jaz did when she was evidently holding back tears.

He opened his mouth to try to speak, and found that his mouth was as dry as the desert that surrounded the tent he was laying in. The rims of his eyelids were crusted with sleep. His curly brown hair was matted to his forehead and stuck to the backs of his ears, damp with perspiration.

Carter heard somebody whisper, "Oh, you're awake." and then a slender hand as cool as ice slipped into his own clammy one. The contact sent a shiver up his spine and a trail of goosebumps rose on his arms.

"Carter?" Jaz murmured softly, gently squeezing his hand. Her blue eyes were bright and bloodshot as she peered at him intently with the look of someone who was squinting at something very bright. Carter guessed that she was exhausted.

"What the heck happened?" Carter wondered. Except his throat was so dry that it came out wheezed and he started coughing halfway through, so he doubted Jaz understood what he had said.

As Carter greedily drank the oh-so refreshing water that was quickly offered to him, he noticed that the hand that held the small, white, plastic cup trembled.

When Carter had drank probably a half a gallon of water, he took a deep breath and said, "What happened, Jaz?"

"It's still happening," Jaz told him, absentmindedly moving to the tent entrance and glancing out.

"What?" Suddenly, Carter felt a whole lot more awake. He tried to sit up but Jaz hurried back over and put a hand in his chest, pushing him back down.

"Easy, Carter," she said in that soothing voice that he knew she saved for her patients. "There's nothing you can do in the state you're in. You would just get yourself killed."

"But what about Sadie?" Carter protested. "What about Walt? The trainees?"

"They'll be fine without you," Jaz said firmly.

Carter barely heard her. Instead, he was focusing on something else Jaz had said.

"What state am I in?" he demanded, though he dreaded the answer. His fears grew even more when Jaz looked away, biting her lip. He thought he saw tears shining in her eyes. He swallowed, dread building up inside of him.

"What happened to me, Jaz?" he asked. She turned back to him, the tears spilling down her face. She didn't bother to hide them.

"Y-your leg, Carter..."

The dread was almost overwhelming. "What happened to my leg? Oh, my gods...I still have it, right?" Frantically, he threw aside the sheet that was covering him as a blanket, and then gave a sigh of relief when he saw that his left leg was still attached to his torso.

"It's still there..." Jaz's voice was very small, now. "But...Carter, your leg...i-it doesn't w-work anymore."

Carter stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"The demon sliced the back of your knee," -Carter winced at this, recalling the explosion of pain- "and severed all of the nerves and-you know, I don't think you want to hear this," Jaz said, seeing the sick expression on his face. "Basically...your leg doesn't work anymore."

"That's ridiculous." Carter moved his leg. Well, he _tried_ to. It didn't move. He glared at it, willing it to move. He had done it for years before now. Why would it refuse to so much as twitch now, when he needed to prove to Jaz that she was wrong and he was fine?

Carter growled in frustration. Jaz sat down on the edge of his bed, burying her head in her hands.

"Please, stop, Carter," she whispered. Her voice cracked.

"No! I can't stop! I have to make it work again so that I can go back out and fight!"

"Carter." Jaz's voice was a bit stronger. "Stop it."

Carter felt all strength seep out of his body. He deflated, dropping his head into his hands.

"I'll...I'll give you a few minutes to think," Jaz murmured. He heard her quiet footsteps and the sound of the tent opening, and then closing. And then he was alone.

Carter sat there for a long time in silence. He tried as hard as he could not to think about his leg and what it meant to not be able to use it, but he couldn't help it.

"I'll never be able to teach combat magic again," he whispered. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He was a combat magician. It was part of who he was. Without it...he felt strangely empty.

"And I'll never be able to run again. I'll never be able to kick a ball again. I'll never be able to..."

This continued for quite a while as he continued to list all the things he would never be able to do again. He wasn't even sure why he was doing it. It just made him feel even worse.

And then the worst realization of all hit him.

"Jaz!" Carter yelled as loud as he could.

/*\*/*\

"You are not going out there, Carter Kane," Jaz said sternly. Carter glared at her.

"Yes, I am. I have to. I can't let Sadie face Apophis by herself."

"Sadie won't be alone. She has Walt, and all the rest of the magicians," Jaz insisted.

"But she doesn't have me," Carter said plainly. He didn't care if that sounded self-centered. It was true. "She doesn't have her big brother. I'm supposed to protect her. And I will protect her, damn it. Leg or no leg."

Jaz studied him in silence for a minute. He met her gaze evenly.

Just when he thought she was going to say no and that he would have to fight his way past her, though, she said: "Fine. But do one thing for me, will you?"

"Anything," Carter said immediately.

"Give that snake hell for me."

/*\*/*\

Whenever Carter had imagined fighting Apophis, somehow he imagined it with a giant snake slithering around on the ground, and Carter slicing it's head off with his khopesh, and then lots of celebrating.

He had never imagined himself limping across the battlefield with his staff in one hand as a crutch and his /khopesh/ in his other hand, feeling as small and insignificant as an ant as he approached the giant serpent that rose as high as the Empire State Building and peered down at him through slitted yellow eyes that were filled with an evil kind of amusement, and hunger.

However, there were a few things about this scenario that made him feel better. Like how Sadie was right by his side, her wand in hand and a determined, almost bloodthirsty grin on her face. And how the sun was shining fiercely overhead, which somehow was like a beacon of sunshine as opposed to the hinderance Carter had thought it would be that morning. And the fact that the magicians stood behind them in a wall of men and women, prepared to help the moment they were needed.

"So," Carter called, trying to sound casual and calmer than he really was. "Where's Apophis? Is he behind this worm thing?"

It was a lame insult, but it brought a roar of laughter from the magicians. Carter thought that maybe they were helping him with his act of calmness, but when he glanced back at them, he saw actual smiles on their faces. Not forced ones. They truly believed that the Kanes would defeat Apophis. They had no doubts. Carter felt a surge of affection for them all.

Apophis didn't appear to mind the insult. Instead, he leaned down. This meant that the magicians had to back up to keep from being crushed as he lowered his head to the ground.

The Serpent's eyes studied Carter as if they could see into his soul and his mind, turn over every thought racing through his head, and guess at how truly afraid and nervous Carter was right now.

"_Kanes_."

The voice spoke as if it were inside Carter's head. Carter gave a start and looked at Sadie. Her wide eyes said that she, too, had heard Apophis.

"Apophis." Carter struggled to keep his voice even.

"_You are wounded, little Kane_." Apophis said this as casually as if pointing out that Carter had something stuck in his teeth.

"Am I? Gee, thanks for pointing that out," Carter said sarcastically.

Apophis regarded him like he were a rat he needed to dispose of. "_You magicians are small and weak. You must know that no amount of blood of the pharaohs could defeat Chaos itself._"

"Good thing we weren't going to use our blood to defeat you," Sadie said cheerfully.

"That was lame, Sades," Carter murmured.

"Shut up, Cart."

"_Let it not be said that I am entirely without may have one hour to decide your fate: will you attempt to fight me and die in the process, or leave, save yourselves, and allow me to reign_?"

"I don't think we need an hour," Carter said confidently. "In fact, we don't even need a minute. All of us would rather fight you and die than let scum like you swallow the freaking sun. Really, who let you out of the zoo?"

"_You choose death_?" Apophis asked, ignoring the jab at his species.

"Obviously," Sadie said.

"Amen," Carter agreed. He hefted his sword and gave Apophis a cocky grin. "Let the battle begin, shall we?"

/*\*/*\

The sound of Apophis falling to must have been the loudest sound that had ever happened on earth. Louder than the explosion of Krakatoa. Louder than anything.

It was also the most amazing and yet horrible sight Carter had ever seen. As the snake's body went limp and then crumpled, it was like watching a skyscraper fold in half and crash to the ground.

Sand billowed up around the Serpent's lifeless body, blinding the magicians. They covered their eyes to shelter them from the sand, but when it had settled, everybody turned back to staring at the body. As they watched, a wisp of blackness poured out of its mouth, curling around the body like a rope of fog. For a minute it simply tightened and constricted, and then the body of Apophis was gone, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

"Am I the only one who can't believe we're not dead?" Sadie asked nobody in particular, breaking the silence that had descended upon the magicians.

"What I can't believe is that you haven't broken a sweat," Carter panted, looking at his sister with a mixture of awe and incredulity.

That was when the cheering started. It was like being in a basketball game where the home team had just won.

"You did it!" Walt's face, streaked with grime and blood, but grinning hugely, appeared beside them.

Sadie threw her arms around Walt's neck, hugging him, and then Jaz was running up, and then she was hugging Walt too. And then Carter pouted and said that he deserved a hug, too, so Jaz hugged him too.

"I can't believe you did it," Jaz said in a low voice into his ear.

"Good to know you had faith me," Carter said back.

"I always had faith in you. I just didn't know you had faith in yourself."

/*\*/*\

Later that day, Carter slipped away from all the festivities in Brooklyn House. Alyssa and Julian had, apparently, worked together to plan a celebration for if they won. Carter had been impressed: Alyssa and Julian usually never got along. Of course, then they usually also didn't kiss in a corner, either, but happiness did funny things to people.

Carter excused himself from the Great Room by saying he had a headache, and limped up the staircase to his bedroom. In spite of himself, he was getting the hang of using his staff as a crutch.

He walked right past his bed, and out onto the balcony outside his room. He sat down on the chair he kept out there, sighing with relief. His body ached from exhaustion.

New York City had never looked so beautiful, Carter thought. He gazed out over Brooklyn. The sky was so dark blue it was almost black. He wished that the stars would show, but the city lights wouldn't allow that. Still, it was beautiful. Maybe because two days ago, he thought it was the last time he would ever see it, and now he knew he would have a lifetime to look at it.

A lifetime without Zia.

Wait...where had that come from? he wondered, mentally kicking himself. But he knew.

All night long, Carter had been wishing Zia were there. Wishing Zia were there to tell him she had known all along that Apophis didn't stand a chance again them. Wishing he had been kissing Zia like Alyssa and Julian had been. Wishing that the girl he loved were there to comfort him over the injury of his leg.

But she wasn't there. Zia was gone. She had _left_. She had left right before the battle. Heck, maybe if she had been there, she would have killed the demon before it ruined Carter's leg forever.

"Stop it, Carter," he growled to himself. "Stop it. You don't know why Zia left. Maybe something was going on that you don't know about."

But Carter knew one thing. Even if Zia had left just when he needed her most, even if Zia might have been keeping something secret from him, even if Zia was gone: he would never stop loving her. He would never love anybody else.

Because nobody would ever replace Zia Rashid.

Carter stood up and walked back into his room, using his staff to support himself one again. He made his way over to his dresser and opened up the top drawer. He moved aside a stack of paper he had written notes on about magic. He moved aside a picture of all the trainees beaming at the camera at Christmas time. He slipped his hand under a thick paperback book (The Curse of King Tut: Boy King by Dr. Julius Kane) and pulled out a little velvet box.

Carter walked back outside and looked up at the stars. Without looking, he opened the box slowly. He

gently touched the diamond set in the ring that rested inside.

"I was going to ask you to marry me," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes. "And now I won't even know if you would have said yes. I...I love you, Zia. And I thought you loved me."

_So why did you go?_

/*\*/*\

That night, as Carter lay in bed, the day flashed through his mind. Mostly the battle. With a start, he realized what the battle cry he had been screaming was:

_For my love._

/*\*/*\

**A/N: *sheepish* It turned out even angstier than I had intended...oh, well. Hope you enjoyed! Review? :3**  
><strong>- Hyper<strong>


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